Thursday, September 9, 2010
im sorry if i have wasted ur time reading my blog, but yea... nothing much happened today, stoned at home, since no one cares so yea... and stoned until now, super unproductive did one essay in 3 hours and thats it i guess..im sorry if i have hurt u in any way or anything.. im sorry if i have daoed you or made things worse for u... im srsly sorry, i didnt mean it that way, pls forgive me..... and sometimes i just feel that im too slack and not supposed to be in any part of anything, totally not doing my best in anything, not caring about anything.. like srsly, i sux and i nvr realised tt,, sry for those who i have been pulling down and holding you back for these few years... emoing never worded now, im just too sucky to do anything right now... i fail at being everything, so why bother trying? maybe caz i know if i try harder and put in that little bit more effort i would be able to find it, i would be able to succeed, but how? how is that possible for me? this is not lala land, this is earth, the crude and f-ing earth... not giving people a second chance, not giving anyone mercy or even showing any form of sympathy.. well this is earth, gotta face reality... and pls dun use results to decide on anything... its srsly not fair, thats hurting people very badly.. its not the results that count, its the process, how you learn and study, how you nuture along the way. so pls just try ur best (: i noe u can do it!! cheer up!! dun think so negatively, everything gonna be alright :D
ok... 2day i was quite sad lar... wanted to go muggin, then was quite late lerh, then with blaming the bus for coming too fast,,, i couldnt go mug, so i stayed at home did one essay in 3 hours, when i finished 2 essays in 3 hours with yifei... yea.... great man, SUPER productive... then at least i was not that emo... then u noe what,, then i started to think about stuff... am i putting in my best? am i trying my best? do i care about anything anymore? does anyone give a damn about anything now? maybe not... that was when i srsly was stunned, and emoed... so yea... wanted to rant, but yea... no one cares about me wad, so who to rant to? no one lor.. keep it bottled up and cry over it, thats the best... i knew u were kinda busy so didnt want to rant to you... another time i was scared to tell u things, i was afriad of ur reaction. i was unsure again to take that step.. i also dunno why... its just like this... im always afraid and not believing in myself, pls slap me awake and let me WAKE UP MY IDEA (quote from a lot of seniors), so yea... pls try to motivate me again, this is where i think i need you the most to pick me up and try to do wad you can do... thks... i need you now, dun want to let go of u, holding u close, ily...
-i need you, pls tell me what to do..
