Friday, October 8, 2010
f-ed up, everything is freakin f-ed up, so i dun care anymore. im f-ing stressed and i dunno why, or maybe i just want to cry... now after reading smth im more stressed and maybe the stress im having now is not from eoys, but maybe eoeoys... yes ok pls knock some sense into me, i srsly need that now... people are expecting a lot from this, people want it to be good, but im just not capable of doing so, they sacrifice so much just to come and yet im scared that i'll screw up... they expect good, i expect to fail... im sorry, im srsly not a good planning person caz failure is a word that never leaves me... im stressed caz of also the f-ing gpa... gpa, gpa, gpa, dunno other words ar? stfu, i want my life back now, i want to enjoy it, not everything is grade-based you noe... but this is reality, have to face it sooner or later... just a matter of fact, but at least stop saying that stupid 3-letter word, im now allergic to it... and i sux, as everything, an individual, a squadmate, a housemate, a planning comm member... just pulling you guys down, trying my best but just thats just not enough, i maybe be smiling and laughing on the outside when we are planning and talking, but on the inside, my heart is breaking and the walls are coming down, sorry to ppl in dactyl that want to enjoy themselves in dactyl chalet... i srsly cannot do it, i srsly cannot take so much stress... i'll try my best, i'll do everything past my limits, but if you're not satisfied and you still think its shitty, im sorry, im srsly sorry, i cant do much, thats how i fail... and since i already know the outcome and yet i know people are expecting much from it, house bonding, fun and everything... its piling stress, its not easy... at least i tried my best, i have no confidence in myself in doing anything, sorry yifei, guess u have to give me that lecture again after eoys... well, back to f-ing geog... i feel empty now, i dun want to care about it,yet its hurting me very badly.... its like im missing a very important part in my life? izzit you?or izzit the happiness i used to have waking up everyday in the morning feeling stress-free and happy... ur helping me a lot, ur putting in a lot of effort, its just that i cant seem to cope, i just cant seem to do anything without ur guidance.... shall just wait, its just a matter of time... just a matter of time...
- pls... return my life, i will always be happy to see you and sad when u leave....
