Though star-blazed skies my mind contained,
The solitude of night my heart concealed,
Love's emotions were so fully restrained,
Thus did I hide behind a self-made shield.
And then you entered into my life,
Bewildering feelings, dazed and confused,
But you continued deeper like a knife,
Until my hardness was thus subdued.
What I never thought possible for me,
You've done and that I'll always treasure,
My heart burns fervent with love for you,
Our souls delight in each beyond all measure.
And as you now place your sweet lips on mine,
I know for certain I'm enraptured with an angel divine
f-ed up life, f-cked up world... pls can you just leave, i dont want to suffer so much pain anymore... maybe if you werent there, i might die eventually due to lack of support, but now with this everyday, my heart is dying, it is slowly deteriorating, i srsly dunno wad to do... im weak, and strengthless, feel like both of my ends are being pulled and i cannot escape from the pain and suffering... caz you werent there to do anything about it.. maybe you tried, maybe you did, but i didnt feel it.. i didnt get anything.. and maybe thats why i feel heartbroken, maybe thats why i want to die at this moment... i srsly cannot take it like this in everyday of my life, stress is piling up... and when you leave, i told myself i wont miss you, but when i remembered the times where you were beside me, i realised....................
i miss you... a lot and i thought you would be here forever, that was another dream i created. absence makes the heart grow fonder... and i couldnt find it until you left and maybe i found out a little bit too late that you were never coming back... do i cry over this? do i want you so badly? do i remember these memories... duh, im not a robot, im not aa cadet but a human, so treat me like one pls... maybe you just dont feel it, maybe you dont get it... but yup, im not your soft-toy that can be thrown around like that, thrown away when you wnat to and taken back when you need something... no, im a person... so maybe treat me like one or else get the fcuk out of my life, i dont need people like you ok...all i want is someone to be with, no matter how nard the journey goes and no matter how rocky the road will be... im not expecting anything, caz that would be stupid, im not hoping for anything caz that would be f-ked up, im just not going to care caz the more i care, the worse the situation goes, so why should i? stopping would be a wise choice...
but stopping might be a very easy word to type, it is definitely not a easy word to carry out... the more people i meet, the more i think thats it, i cant leave now.. not silently, not even in pride... you taught me how to love, but have you ever considered to end the lesson with how to stop loving? caz my heart is now dangling on a thin piece of thread, not knowing what to do, not knowing the right choices in life... maybe caz i wanted to leave to prevent any more pain.. but it nvr occured to me that leaving would be more painful than a daily accumulation of it... but a one time death is so much less painful than killing you slowly everyday, so maybe i just have to leave, without a trace, you would nvr know the difference caz you never acknowledged my existence before so without me there, you wouldnt realise and you would be rejoicing i guess.. so why should i pile my stress on other people's joy... leave, just leave, its just a few steps more, i would fall, i would cry.. but at least you would not, and one party is happy... i rather i die to give you the happiness you deserve and the time i screwed up from this... sry for screwing up your life, slap me, i'll leave, and nvm, you wont miss me anyway and maybe for it, you may not even go, you may be crying, but it would be tears of joy.. caz no one cares of my existence anymore, caz im just that irritating speck of dust in everyone's lifes...
time for ranting bout other stuff... not here obv go and die
//i would not want to go back on the same path, i would not want to feel pain anymore and maybe i want love that feels like a dream, but when i wake up, its still there, as solid as ever....
