i'll cry, caz for me to be with you, friends is just not enough i guess...nobody is perfect, until you have fallen in love with him.... things worth having are obviously worth waiting for i guess, i just have to sit and wait patiently... but yeah i'll just sit here and wonder if you'll ever understand just how much of me feels like it belongs to you... but i guess you dont know..i srsly cannot take so much stress i guess, with so much things on me now D:, im breaking down soon... i never had so much i guess and yup shall write a bit on comp trials here i guess... you guys ask who want to be in comp team? who dont? i didnt raise my hand at all... but i wanted to... but i didnt, caz i was scared i guess... i didnt want to face reality so soon.... i was scared to admit... i didnt want to be judged this way i guess... just didn’t have the courage to back out.. caz if I really got in (impossible), I would just pull down the whole team… so why should I be so selfish? Just to fulfil something and do such a thing? No way, im not such a person… I rather give the position to someone who deserves it more than me and yeah, at least that person would not pull the team down… but why am I thinking so much? I wont even get in…but yeah, I should have raised my hand at that question… I should have done so much more, but my inner self is just pulling me back… I just don’t have the strength to fight back anymore I guess, im just too weak to fight my own battles anymore…and I don’t think you care anymore, maybe caz you are having too much fun without communicating with me, but I have a feeling that you are just avoiding me, you just don’t want to come close to me and tell me you care, caz you don’t anymore… maybe you never did, then your acting skills are great… best actor in the world, until I felt so attracted, until you took off the mask, and I was thrown aside like a dog, never treated like a human… if this is the way you want to treat me, I’ll just leave you, so you wont have to clean up the mess, you would be happy living without me, so I shouldn’t be that parasite, sticking onto you anymore, I’ll just leave, silently, without a trace, without a sound, taking all the memories we had together, and cry all the way till I die… but no one would care right? So I can finally just do this, anyway, at where I die, there would be no one crying… but maybe laughter, or tears of joy I guess, caz im just that pathetic speck of dust in everyone’s lifes… gone without a trace…
//we were never meant to be… let go, it’s the easiest way out…
