Sunday, November 21, 2010
normal day i guess, stoning in bed for about 5 hours, then woke up, comp, blog, vid, went out for dinner, back home, comp, want to sleep, thirsty and more comp.... what else can i do? lol did one pg of chinese, great... thats my boring day and maybe i was planning for smth 2moro, backfired, failed, so i guess thats more emoing at home for me...
lol, its weird like somehow after ur so high, you get super emo, caz you're thinking of smth... totally unrelated to the picture, lol i just want to post that, but more of why isnt this happening in my life... are i such a fcuked-up person? i srsly dunno lar... i just dont feel happy ): very very emo now ._. guess thats why i dont want to talk now... and actually i dont feel like blogging now... but yeah ._. too long nvr blog lerh... getting dead... but actually so what, does anyone care anymore? does anyone give a damn anymore... i guess not.. caz yeah, nothing ever matters to anymore in this world anymore... i just dont feel very good now ._. i want to cry ): omg.... and maybe i'll feel better... but got nth to cry about... i dunno lar ): srsly need people in my life... but none of them cares now ._. ignores ignores... thats all im getting i guess... hmmm, no point ranting here, they are not going to care anyway...
people come, people go... they'll drift in and out of your life almost like characters in a favourite book. When you finally close the cover, the characters have told their story and you start up again with another book complete with new characters and adventures. Then you find yourself focusing on the new ones, not the ones from the past... i guess i just have to pick up those broken heart pieces and start over, free myself up for something better in the future. Maybe this happy ending is just moving on. i cant live my life for other people, even if i have to hurt people, i just have to live for myself... but yeah, tragedies happen. im not going to give up, im not going to quite.. i gotta fight to make sure im still alive. because i am and that pain i feel inside me? thats life... but why is life like this? leaving us a bad scar everywhere, following us around, changing our lifes. It messes everybody up, all the pain, suffering, fear and the crap. Maybe going through all this is what keeps us moving forward, its what pushed us forward, and maybe we just have to screw up before we can step up... but im sick of screwing up... its been 14 years.. i sick of it... i guess this is life... and theres no turning back now....
//why does everyone like to dao me ): shall emo ):
normal day i guess, stoning in bed for about 5 hours, then woke up, comp, blog, vid, went out for dinner, back home, comp, want to sleep, thirsty and more comp.... what else can i do? lol did one pg of chinese, great... thats my boring day and maybe i was planning for smth 2moro, backfired, failed, so i guess thats more emoing at home for me...
